Category Archives: Friday Morning Metal

Friday Morning Metal – Kalmah – Seventh Swamphony

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Swamp metal! It’s a thing! And Kalmah have been making it since 1991! To be fair, I have no idea what swamp metal is, but Kalmah sound like really orchestral metal with black/death vocals, so maybe that’s it. According to Wiki, they started in 1998, but were Ancestor from 91 to 98. Then they swamped it up, focusing on themes of Politics, Personal struggles, Swamps, History, Hunting, Fishing. Seventh Swamphony feels like it talks personal struggles and swamps, maybe environmentalism too?

The song kicks off in a really frenetic pace before the guitars drop the melody. The vocals are intriguing, though I feel like I’m getting a sore throat just listening to it. I do enjoy the keyboardist adding some flair, it makes it feel much more epic. There’s a killer keyboard breakdown that transitions to a solid solo while the bog monster gets monstrous. All in all it’s a pretty good swampy time.

The video cuts between the band playing out in a bog and some dude having a bad time, also in a bog. I think he’s polluting the bog, which summons a bog monster. Maybe it’s the spirit of the bog. Regardless, the monster is not pleased with some dude, and he’s got some monster tendrils to get vengeance! It is funny seeing the band look like a bunch of swamp dwellers shredding on pristine guitars and keyboards and whatnot.

Friday Morning Metal – Tankard – A Girl Called Cerveza

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Oooh Frankfurty thrash! This week we’re checking out A Girl Called Cerveza by Tankard. Bjørn keeps sharing various Tankard songs so it seemed like as good a time as any to get a video up in here. These guys have been around since 1982 (like me!) and are considered one of the Big Four of Teutonic Thrash. Much like bands that are 40 years old, there’s been some churn, but the original bassist and singer are still there kicking ass and taking names, so good on them for the longevity!

The song kicks off with some solid riffing before kicking into a solid chugga melody. It’s fun to hear a German guy pronounce cerveza as “serve-essa” almost like Vanessa maybe? The vocals fit well with the band, while the lyrics are about how this lady stole all his beer after getting him drunk. Poor guy. Nobody should get their beer supply taken. The solo is a frenetic and fantastic, but I can’t remember if it’s arpeggios or just very staccato. I should probably take some music theory classes if I’m going to keep writing about how rad these songs are.

The video is a combo of them shredding on the roof of a building and also the Girl Called Cerveza making metal faces while the singer paws at her. Then she kills the singer in a brewery! I think? Regardless, it looks like they’re having a hoot and a half, so give it a watch and enjoy!

Friday Morning Metal – Power Paladin – Sword Vigor

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Ready for some cheeky power metal? This week it’s Iceland’s own Power Paladin, shredding out Sword Vigor. Apparently they used to just be called Paladin, then the pandemic™ happened and they became POWER PALADIN! I bet they know Björk. Maybe she’s featured in other songs. That would rule.

Much like most power metal, there’s some big guitar hooks before the rest of the band dives in. The hook is catchy as hell. Their vocalist is solid, transitioning from staccato verses to soaring choruses with ease. I think there’s even a baby key change before the solo, so this song has it all! The epic solo halfway through gets the added bonus of some keyboard, or they actually have someone playing a harpsichord in the band. Wouldn’t put it past a power metal band to get a harpsichord or zither up in there. The song is pretty paint by the numbers epic power metal track, but they do a great job of it so I look forward to more Power Paladin!

The video highlights the Power Paladins doing their regular day to day, I guess? Turns out they have a carpool and one of them vapes a ton. Oh and one of them is wicked passed out in the car. That can’t be healthy. And I guess they hate the vikings. LUTE SOLO! I know it’s guitar but the Power Paladin playing on a lute in the video is great. Then they beat the pie out of a goblin. Those Power Paladins sure are good at paladin’ around. And then they rip off in their sedan. This video gives a lot of the same goofy vibes I saw from Red Fang, and that’s fantastic.

Friday Morning Metal – Templar – Treacherous Beast

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Straight out of Stockholm this week is Templar, proprietors of throwback metal! These guys started in 2022, but maybe they frozen in ice in 1978 and thawed out in 2022.

The song is a solid throwback metal song, feels a lot more like 1979-1982 era stuff. Like they could open for Riot. Not Quiet Riot, but Riot. It starts with some live footage before kicking into the dueling guitar intro. They do the cool thing where each guitar is in its own channel, so you can hear difference. Unless you’re missing a speaker or are deaf in one ear, then you only hear 75% of the band. They’ve got a great chugga sound, and the vocals harken back to the bygone era of feathered hair and songs about traveling the wilderness to fight the beast. There’s a great echo effect during the solo, it makes it sound extra layered and stuff. The song’s also just short of three and a half minutes; doesn’t feel like they left any meat on the bone for this one! Just a solid throwback shred fest.

The video bounces between live footage and what appears to be a band photo shoot. They seem a little nervous playing with the bigass sword and the torch, but otherwise they seem to be having a good time. I hope they used the group photo for a Christmas card. The live footage doesn’t always synch with the audio, which is a little off-putting, but otherwise it’s solid.

Friday Morning Metal – Jet Jaguar – Mach 10

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Are you ready to blast off with some bigass speed metal? Coming straight out of Cancún, it’s Jet Jaguar with their blistering single Mach 10. They’ve been shredding since 2014 AND won the 2017 Wacken Open Air Metal Battle™. That’s pretty great to do three years after forming. I guess Jet Jaguar’s someone in a or many Godzillas, he’s probably stoked a band this rad is named after him.

The song kicks off with a quick drum fill before the guitars jump in. Right off the bat you can tell it’s going to be big bombastic and badass metal. The vocal harmonizing is refreshing to hear, especially as punctuation to each verse. Oooh the singer and his wingman are ready to engage. More metal songs should have jet fighter themes. There’s gotta be more than just Mach 10 and Hibria’s Tiger Punch. Hit us in the tittus if there are more. The bass is slappy and great to hear in the mix before the solo. And holy crap the guitar solo up in there with the finger taps and the sweeps picks, it’s so shreddy! Jet fuel can’t melt steel beams, but I’m pretty sure that guitarist could!

The video is just them playing in what looks like an empty office building. Or like one of the unfinished floors from Die Hard. There’s some visual overlays of jets locking on or something, which makes me wonder if they wanted to get some aerial dogfight footage to add too, but ran out of time. They should reach out to Hibria and see if they have extra footage from Tiger Punch. That’d be pretty rad.

Friday Morning Metal – Heathen – Dying Season

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Oooh more bay area thrash! This time it’s Heathen, who’ve been melting faces from 1984 to 1993, then 2001 until the end of time. They peddle in themes of Society, Politics, Religion, Death, and Dying Season is no different. But don’t get them confused with other Heathen bands from Pennsylvania and San Gabriel, who are both also metal bands. I bet if you pick a name like Heathen for your band, you’re kind of pigeon holed into a sound. Imagine a barbershop quartet going by Heathen. It’d be quite a shock.

The song starts with a kind of sitar-esque melody before diving headlong into dueling guitarmonies and big bombastic drums. The vocals have a good edge to them, and fit into the mix well. Which makes sense, this song may be 15 years old, but the band’s been around forever. Dueling guitar solos show off both of the guitarists’ chops about 2/3 of the way through the song, with another to close out the track. Very sweepy, very shreddy. 6 minutes of thrash is pretty good, and the song doesn’t seem to drag too hard or anything.

The video cuts between the band and a kinda cheesy look of a war movie perhaps with zombie soldiers. General zombie stopper looks like a bald MacArthur, sending soldiers off to battle. These poor guys get shredded by a bunker full of big machine guns, only to climb out of the earth a little later. And the one guy who manages to survive ends up meeting the zombies at the end. Poor guy! That would be a horrible fate, getting turned into a zombie soldier. I’d rather turn into a zombie professor, at zombie university. Or maybe zombie state, they’re less hifalutin there.

Friday Morning Metal – Little V – It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

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It might be Boxing Day but we’ve got some metal Christmas music to bring you good cheer. This time it’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year, covered by Little V. This guy does a ton of covers and metal versions of songs, including like Pokemon and stuff. And Bjørn always manages to recommend them to me. They’re not too bad, but there was a stretch of anime songs where I had no idea what they were about. I should probably watch more anime so I know what’s up.

The arrangement is pretty solid, with a ton of blast beats and shreddy guitars following the melody. I’m not a fan of the vocals, it sounds a little too growly and weird. I bet if he did cleaner vocals, the song could get snuck into like the Gap’s holiday playlist and nobody would be the wiser. But it is a little fun to hear a super growl about “marshmallows for roasting.” Oooh I wonder if there’s an isolated vocals of Andy Williams’ version of the song that could get overlaid onto the instrumentation here. That would be a wild juxtaposition.

The video itself is pretty straightforward, with lots of Little V’s (Littles V?) performing all the parts to the song. And then a big thanks to his patrons who pay him to put songs like this out for everyone to listen to.

Friday Morning Metal – Kreator – Hail to the Hordes

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KREATOR! KREATOR! Happy Friday, please enjoy some badass thrash from Germany’s own Kreator. These guys have been shredding as long as I’ve been a person, so I have to imagine they have tinnitus and a sore back. Oooh their bassist is Frédéric Leclerq, which is one of the hockey-est names I’ve read in a while. Aside from a little part in the 90s, they’ve had the same drummer the whole time, which kinda pokes a hole in Spinal Tap’s claim that drummers explode randomly and frequently.

The song kicks off with some great dueling guitarmonies and big bombastic drumming before getting into gear. The drums are relentless, pushing the kind of tempo that would get a runner breaking land speed records. A double guitar solo of noodly proportions takes us into the final chorus. At four minutes and change, they don’t waste much time, but there’s enough breaks where I could see this being stretched out live for solos and crowd interaction and whatnot.

The video itself is a live show from 2017. You know it’s a good show when you see plenty of battle jackets and a teeming mass of a pit. I think they have pictures of family members blown up real huge behind them too. That’s sweet of them. It’s like they have giant Aura frames showing off their cheeky cousins and uncles and stuff. I dig that the vocalist sets his mic up similar to Lemmy, with it like pointing down at him from on high. Like he’s shouting at a giant.

Friday Morning Metal – Borknagar – Winter Thrice

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Happy Friday, here’s some proggy folky black metal care of Borknagar. These guys have been singing about paganism and nature and whatnot since 1995. They’re from Bergen, but not Kneurgen, near the Joergen Fjords. Hmm. Kneurgen, that’s in the Klargen Province, near the Biburgen River. Now correct me if I’m wrong. Their annual rainfall varies from about 40 inches in the winter to about 200 inches in the summer, and their chief export is modular furniature. I did a report on Sweden in the eighth grade.It was really hard, I stayed all night on it. Then the next day, in gym class I was on the minitramp and I got diarrhea. I really wish I hadn’t told you that. Given that it’s wicked cold in much of the northern climes, Winter Thrice seemed like a good song to share.

The song kicks off with a quiet melody before the blast beats blast your face off and the song starts in earnest. I think there are four vocalists in this band, three singers and one growly dude. Growly dude gets going a couple minutes in, I think he’s singing about how it’s so cold it wrecked his voice and now he needs a chamomile tea. All the vocalists are pretty great, and fit into the folky metal vibe of the band.

The video bounces between the band playing in a cabin of some sort and clips of a very cold and frozen over lake & town. Their room does look very cozy as a contrast to the tundra. I would much rather hang out indoors. Given their robust vocalist count, it’s fun to see the indoor wide shots. One singer will be singing, and the other three are just kinda sitting there like goofs. I wonder what they do during the live performances. Maybe they hang out off to the side and get tagged in like it’s survivor series or something.


Friday Morning Metal – Artillery – Turn up the Rage

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Danish thrash incoming! Today’s song is Turn up the Rage by Artillery. These guys have been thrashing about since 1982. But they also disbanded a few times. I think that happens when you run out of songs. You have to take a break to think up new ways to be metal. And since their reunion in 2007, they’ve been steadily pumping out the thrash. Apparently they shared rehearsal space with Mercyful Fate and Metallica, that’s gotta be a big loud room right there.

The song kicks off with the main riff, no intro needed, just straight up thrash. Their vocalist has been with the band since like 2013, and he’s pretty great, combining a solid growl with soaring vocal parts. The guitar solo halfway through provides a shreddy interlude before getting back to the main riff. There’s even a drum solo toward the end! You don’t hear those too often nowadays. Maybe at a live show, but not just stuffed into a song. It’s nice. The song’s about 4 minutes long, but they make the most of it. And the video ends showing off a beer that might have been for sale! All in all, it’s a pretty killer track. Which makes sense, these guys have been shredding for most of 43 years.

The video combines two things I dig: heavy metal and brewery equipment! There’s also some quick shots of a skeleton in a hoodie. I wonder if he’s the head brewer. He’s probably mad that they’re taking up space when he could be cleaning or something. And that’s turning up his rage. There’s also the guitarist who I thought was doing a lot of deep knee rock squats, but I think he might just be itty bitty.