Friday Morning Metal – Firewind – Destiny is Calling

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Happy Friday, please accept this collect call from destiny. Not Bob Weadababyitsaboy. These guys have been cranking out the bombast since 1998, all the way from Macedonia. Maybe they’re related to Alexander the Great, the Macedonian King. I really think Bungie dropped the ball by not using this song in promo materials for their game Destiny. Destiny is Calling seems like a good way to entice people to shoot aliens and also that wizard that came from the moon.

The song starts with some solid guitar noodling letting you know the major riff for the song. I’ve written about these guys before; the vocalist is pretty great and fits in really well with the sound. He’s got a bit of a gravely voice but is still belting out a pretty solid range. About 3/4 of the way through the song is when we get the proper noodly solo which is really ties the song together. According to Encyclopaedia Metallum the band was started by the guitarist, so he ought to get some focus!

The video is primarily show/rehearsal footage, but then a bit of them goofing off before the show. The singer’s red leather member’s only jacket is pretty badass, also looks like a throwback to 1988. There’s a couple shots of the crowd throwing fists in the air, but it might be in slow-mo? Because they look like they seem half-embarassed to be doing it. I think the guitarist has light up pickups to make his solos look more epic. I support this 100%. More of life needs to be epic for no reason other than “it’ll look cool.”

Friday Morning Metal – Saxon – Gods of Thunder

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The Princesses of the Night are back with a big song about like… Thor and Zeus and Jupiter? It’s Gods of Thunder from Saxon. Thor is included because he’s not the god of hammers. I bet there are other thunder gods, I just don’t know them. These guys have been at the forefront of NWoBHM since 1978. Nearly 50 years of metal! You’d think after a while they’d want to hang it up and like… play shuffleboard with the old ladies at the retirement castle. Or maybe shred out the talent show. But they’re still touring and being big and bombastic and that’s pretty awesome.

The song kicks off with some dueling guitarmonies to get you set for the thematic tone. It’s not as frenetic as most of the stuff I post on here, but it’s a good deliberate, driving beat. Makes me think of hammering iron or steel or something, so that’s pretty fitting. Every once in a while the vocals remind me of Red Mantle and Dragoon from Venture Bros. I guess that happens if you’ve been singing metal for so long. It is cool that he’s let his vocals age with him and doesn’t try to push too hard. There’s a couple solid noodly solos about halfway through the song. It’s fun when guitarists take turns with the solos; you don’t need to hog all the glory and whatnot. All in all it’s a pretty solid song.

The video looks like they did it before a live performance. Big ass stage, but no crowd, so it’s not as exciting. But it does mean the lightning in the background is a bit safer, since they can’t zap randos headbanging and whatnot. I was kind of hoping for some gods of thunder to show up. I bet Russell Crowe and Chris Hemsworth would be willing to put on their Marvel gear and go hang out for a day or two with them. They’re Saxon! You don’t turn down an opportunity to hang out with Saxon, you guys.

Friday Morning Metal – Exumer – Death Mask Messiah

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It’s been almost ten years since the last time I posted an Exumer video. I bet they’ve done a bunch in the interim, I’m just not good at paying attention. This week it’s Death Mask Messiah, which I guess dovetails nicely with at least one of their themes: insanity, politics, death, hate. It could line up with two. These guys have been thrashin about since 1985, bringing everyone hot dog metal. Or Frankfurter metal. Either way, it’s very great thrash.

These guys waste no time getting into the mix. The drums are like the kick in the ass that turns a casual jog into a crazed run. I dig the vocals, they got solid edge to them and fit the vibe really well. There’s a solid breakdown before the solo, seems like a good spot for the pit to gear up before going crazy. There’s a lot of squeadlies in the solo, plus some solid whammying. You don’t hear much whammying anymore. Hopefully whammying makes a comeback. The song ends pretty abruptly at three and a half minutes, no held notes or fade outs on the melody, just done.

The video is them playing in like a rail yard or industrial area or something, then a bunch of babes show up. Oh dip one of them is Pyramid Head™! I was not expecting a lady Pyramid Head™ to show up. It looks like she’s get the ladies to join her or something. Or maybe she’s sacrificing them to Pyramid god? She doesn’t really mess with the band. Maybe they’re teaming up; the band lures the babes there, then Pyramid Head™ convinces them to buy a timeshare in Boca Raton. It’s a deal of a lifetime!

Friday Morning Metal – Wolf – Death Satellite

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HELL YEAH NEW WOLF! This time it’s the Death Satellite. I don’t know what a death satellite is, but I bet it’s pretty spooky. Maybe it’s part of that Event Horizon space ship. Wolf has been melting faces since 1995, and the first time I heard them was when a roommate in college discovered Black Wings “somewhere on the internet” and those opening guitars had me hooked. I claim them as the band that pivoted me from being like “yeah Metallica and Sabbath and Priest are pretty cool” type metal head into the “Well yeah this band is fun but I prefer the guitarist’s work in Sausage Assassin” annoying type of metal head. So thanks, Wolf! They dabble in themes of insanity, evil, and occultism. Maybe the death satellite is occult. Who knows!

The song starts with some haunty space noises before everyone kicks it into gear. The start feels very Wolf, with wandering guitar licks and big angry drums. The vocals are what you expect from Niklas Stålvind, with a solid edge. Apparently he plays bagpipes on some of their songs? I gotta go find that. Whoah the rest of the band adds some haunting calllling kinda vocals in the chorus. I was not expecting additional vocals like that, but they do make the death satellite more spoky. Oh hell yeah before the breakdown there’s some bass forward solo kinda stuff. Very slappy, very bouncy. We get some dual guitar rock poses before the solo, which isn’t super noodly but still fits the vibe really well. All in all this makes me excited for Hour of the Wolf, it comes out November 20th!

The video looks like it was shot on a foggy day in a foggy warehouse in foggy London town. Sometimes where’s a bit of a fish-eye or reverse-fish-eye lens, as though someone slipped me a mickey. But there’s tons of clips of the band shredding and kicking ass, which is fantastic. Would’ve loved to see the death satellite doing some death satelliting or something, but maybe they couldn’t afford a space launch.

Friday Morning Metal – Struck a Nerve – Parade of Violence

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Here we go with some frenetic thrash out of England, it’s Parade of Violence by Struck a Nerve. I bet them being the self-proclaimed most aggressive and intense thrash band the UK has ever produced struck a nerve with other British metal bands. They’re on Listenable Records, and this song is pretty listenable, so that’s apt.

Super chuggy guitars kick the song off before very frenetic drums drive all over the place. The vocals have the shreddy edge you’d expect from a thrash band. Three stacked solos is pretty great. Maybe four stacked solos? They just keep noodling and taking turns noodling, it’s fantastic. They even do the pained solo faces. You need more faces during solos, it makes it look tough. All in all this is a great down the fairway thrash song from a pretty tight band. I will have to find more of them!

The video is all in-studio, but the guys look like they’re having a great time doing it. Though with a song called “Parade of Violence” I think I would’ve tried to stage a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade, but the floats are full of people throwing things at the crowd and getting in fist fights. The Snoopy balloon crashing into Spongebob while the people holding the ropes are throwing haymakers. Gotta make it a real parade of violence. Oooh. The band could be performing on a float!

Friday Morning Metal – Xandria – The Shannon’s Home

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Oooh symphonic lady vocal metal! This week The Shannon’s Home, care of Xandria. I hope it’s pronounced Cross-Andria, like X-Mas. You know a band is going to be epic when there’s an old dude in a beret playing a fife, and Xandria has one! These guys have been belting out songs about inner struggles and “feelings” since 1994. Figure they’d have their feelings all figured out by now, but maybe it’s a life long process. Apparently their current singer, Ambre Vourvahis, is their sixth. Usually bands go through bassists like it’s no big deal, not singers.

Plinky plunky pianos and Mr. Beret lead off the song by playing the melody before the rest of the band kicks in. Ambre’s voice is pretty solid, able to fill out the melodies without sounding operatic. I’m not the biggest fan of overtly operatic vocals in my metal. There is a heavy breakdown halfway through. I bet if the song came out in like 2002, this is where a guy with a bunch of piercings would rap about feelings. The guitar solo is short and sweet, riffing on the main themes of the song, before Mr. Beret gets a chance to shine leading to KEYCHANGE. The song closes out with some grampas guitars before Mr. Beret gets a fife solo. Rules he gets to do that; you don’t see many fife solos nowadays. At five and a half minutes, the song fits into the symphonic zone pretty easily. I think if it cracks the six minute mark it becomes prog metal. I don’t make the rules, I just reiterate them poorly.

The video cuts between the band playing in a giant clock and then the singer and Mr. Beret in an enchanted glade. I think if you’re a symphonic metal band, you have to be in front of a clock in at least one song, otherwise the metal gods make you play a different genre. Pretty sure I read that in Harper’s Bazaar.

Friday Morning Metal – Fugitive – Spheres of Virulence

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Happy Friday, here’s Spheres of Virulence from a band I’m pretty sure didn’t kill their wife. Tommy Lee Jones still doesn’t care. It’s Fugitive, who have members from Power Trip in them. The internet really wanted to get across that Blake Ibanez from Power Trip started Fugitive. I wonder if he plays Ibanez. Or is related to Raul. Would be funny if he played like… a Gretsch Falcon. I’m not sure if those guitars can make thrash sounds. I bet they can.

The song is a pretty balls out standard thrash fest, featuring chugga rhythms and driving drums. The vocals have a pretty solid growly edge to them, definitely fits in the sound well. There’s a solid noodly solo about halfway through, but not long enough to really let the guitarist shine, which is a bit of a bummer. But also the song’s like 4 minutes long so I’m sure they didn’t want to waste time. I’m sure there are dudes lifting weights and drinking from a gallon jug of water to this song. Or a one-armed indy wrestler uses it as their walkup music.

The video cuts between live shots, shots on a sound stage, and weird clips from odd videos. They also put a rad filter on it to make it look like you’re watching cable in the 90s and are on a channel you’re not supposed to watch. There are a couple cuts where there’s no filter at all and the resolution looks really weird. Like the opposite of public access TV. It’s too bad they didn’t play in a gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse within a six mile radius.

Friday Morning Metal – Nunslaughter – Unsacrament

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Happy Friday, here’s some Nuns Laughter, with Unsacrament. I’m sure it’s Nun Slaughter, but Nuns Laughter just seems fun. These guys have been shredding all over since 1987, bringing what they call Devil Metal to the masses. Their themes are Satanism, Death, Anti-Christianity, and Blasphemy. So pretty on the nose there for their self-proclaimed genre.

There’s not much laughing in this song, but there is a lot of shredding. The song kicks off with frenetic drums and super shreddy guitars. The main melody is pretty interesting, and would be a great backdrop to smashing watermelons with a microwave. The vocals are pretty growly, and definitely fit in with the vibe of devil metal. There’s a killer breakdown toward the end, a perfect spot for big slow headbanging. Oh dang the breakdown ends with them saying they shit on god. I doubt god would enjoy that. Or maybe they do. Who am I to judge!

The video itself is mostly tour and live footage, which is fun. They got a ton of fans who really dig what they’re doing. And it looks like they play a ton of festivals big and small. I guess that’s what happens when you’ve been shredding for 40 some years. I wonder if they ever did an April Fools’ Day joke about changing their name to Nuns Laughter and their style to like… religious parody songs. I bet they’d do a killer cover of Jesus is a Friend of Mine.

Friday Morning Metal – Amon Amarth – Gjallarhorn

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Happy Friday! Here’s Amon Amarth singing about my favorite rocket launcher in the Destiny series! It’s Gjallarhorn! Gjallarhorn is an Exotic Rocket Launcher. It is also the only rocket launcher that has tracking missiles that each function separately from the warheads. Or it’s about Heimdall’s kickass horn that lets people know Ragnarök is about to happen. Amon Amarth’s been around forever, so you’ll know what you’re getting into: big epic guitars and crazy vocals and songs about vikings doing viking things! Gjallarhorn’s tracking rockets are pretty great when trying to shoot down dropships and such. It’s a bummer Density has effectively ended, that game was pretty fun.

The song kicks off with some epic harmonized chanting before a killer guitar chugg and bigass drums blast your face off. The singer talks about drinking from Gjallarhorn, but I thought it was a music horn, not a drinkin horn. Or a badass rocket launcher one should not drink from. Regardless, the song is big and bombastic and full of Norse mythologizing. The guitarmonies during the verses are pretty great, while the riff on the chorus is bound to get stuck in your head. FILL THE. GJALLARHORN.

The video cuts between the band in some badass locations and an older fella walking around being mystical and magical. Ooh it’s Odin trying to drink from Mimir’s well to get wisdom. Way to go Odin, being all mystical and magical for wisdom! I wonder if the band portion was done in the Volume™. Because it really looks like they’re out on some windswept craggy fjord. Can’t imagine fjord fog is good for guitars and drums.

Friday Morning Metal – Mountain Witch – Back from the Grave

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Enjoy some stoner Hamburger metal! This week it’s Mountain Witch’s Back from the Grave. These guys have been playing old timey doom metal since 2008, with themes of Occultism, Horror, and/or Doooooooom. It’s good to know that doom metal can come from everywhere including Hamburg, Germany. They sound like they could’ve opened for Sabbath in the 70s. Also these guys should not be mixed up with Witch Mountain, who played Mayrmoor festival in Radmond in 2025 and are also a doom metal band. I wonder if they’d ever double bill, that’d be pretty rad. Maybe there are bands called Witch Witch and Mountain Mountain so we could have every combination on the bill.

The song kicks off with big guitars setting the tone. It’s not quite as drony as other doom/stoner metal bands, with a solid chord progression going through the verses. Felt almost like a more ominous Iron Butterfly. Vocals don’t kick in until a minute in, letting you soak up the solid riffs. I also dig that the walking bass is up enough in the mix that you can actually hear it. I thiiink there’s some synth going on in there, but Encyclopaedia Metallum doesn’t mention a synth player in the band. Regardless, it gives a good haunting vibe to the song. Like it should be played in a shlocky horror movie! There’s a solid noodly solo toward the end, to finish em off, can’t go wrong with a closing solo.

There’s not much to the video, aside from the band name and song title, but they did add some pops on the screen to make it look like you’re watching a really old film or something. I kept waiting for the hand to move or something, but no dice. Much like I mentioned earlier, if they had set up the video to look like a horror movie that starts with someone dying, getting buried, then coming back from the grave for vengeance on those horny teenagers, it would’ve been wild. Like I Know What You Did Last Summer of Sixty Nine. Or something.